When you feel like you are not strong enough to reach your goal. When you feel down because the person you love rejected you. When you feel like crap because you failed at something that was important to you. When you burst with anger because you think something is simply not fair and you start a fight to get things right. When you hide behind your friends because you are too shy to stand up for yourself. When you got your feelings hurt because someone does not agree with you. The list goes on and on.
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I learned that when these things happen it’s not our adult self who expresses itself but rather our inner child. It’s the child inside everyone of us who feels unheard, rejected, less that he actually really is.
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« How come that there is an inner child inside me? I AM NOT PREGNANT ALICE !! Are you insaaaaane? » you might said (or not).
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The inner child is the tiny you. It’s the kiddo you were. Why is he waking up sometimes when things are not so great in your life? Well. We are all different and experienced different things when we were younger.
Sometimes some of us did not receive enough love, acceptance, security from their parents. Sometimes we were not heard, listened to, hugged enough, we did not received messages like « I love you for just the person you are, you are unique and beautiful ».
It’s not our parents fault. They did the best they could. They couldn’t teach their children what they did not know themselves and what was done by their own parents. It’s normal.
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So let’s say that one day when you were 4 you have cried so so much and nobody has noticed you might started, few years later, unconsciously, to feel invisible and maybe you might start to tell yourself that your emotions and feelings are not legitimate. By growing up you start keeping all inside yourself and you tend not to say your mind or how you feel because of the bad experience you had.
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Or if one day you felt humiliated and nobody was there to protect you and explained that you are not what others think of you then you also might tend to build a protection bubble where you don’t let people in, in your life (even if the people are good ones). You know what I mean?
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When you feel injustice and you start screaming like crazy it’s your inner child who is screaming.
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By giving love and attention to our small tiny cute inner child, by asking him/her what/how he feels, the inner child will receive the love and attention he didn’t have and will feel much better. This will result of YOU feeling much better. Win-win situation :).
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No one else but you can feed your inner child. The past is the past and there is no use blaming others for what we deserved but never received. It’s our job now as grown-ups to give ourselves what we really need. Starting to tell ourselves messages like « I am crap », « I never do anything well », « I will never find true love or my dream job » etc won’t lead you anywhere. Just the opposite.
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And you will see, if you do this everyday, if you really listen to yourself, you will see how great yourself and life is. With your inner child and with your adult self. Together as one and beautiful team.
Alice
