Auteur/autrice : wakeminday

If I’m honest with you this is how I talk to my brain lately.

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I would like to write today about a very fascinating subject to me : the life of celebrities. Not much people pay attention to this but it is important for me to give my point of view regarding the life of well-known and famous  people in this society. It is quite unusual but for me it it raises a lot of very interesting questions.

« I want to be a star »

Some children wants to be doctors, some journalists and some veterinaries. Some say they want to become « stars ».

In one interview the young American singer Jojo said « When I was a child I dreamed of being a star ».

But what being a star really means? What does it mean for you? Being a star for me is not being a singer or an actor or a superhero or anything specific or clear. It means being admired and recognized by people, being praised and loved by others. For me it means nothing else.

Because of that I think it’s hard for these people who have that kind of dream to create themselves some space and to know who they really are and want to become because the idea of being a star is not totally clear and does not define anything specific as said before. And that’s the problem.

For me you can not dream of being a star without having an initial lack of self-love and self-identity.. (tell me if I’m wrong on this one). Wanting to be a singer or wanting to be an actor is something different because for me it means  doing the things you love to do  (regardless for the success or the failures you can get while doing it).

So it is possible that many artists drawn because of their idea of what being a star really is/means.

If you are a women we really recommend you shut up

Thank god things are getting better and better regarding this issue but still a lot of work needs to be done to get things right.

It took a very very VERY long time until Harvey Weinstein got arrested and judged for what he had done.

At first, nobody dared to speak up about the rapes and the awful things they went through. And if they did well it wasn’t for long for their career to stop or being considered « as drama queens who wanted attention ». As most of them didn’t want their career to end and knew it would be very hard to be believed by others since the guy was so influential and admired.

And that’s the problem. It took so long and it was so hard for all these women to start to speak up but thanks to them, justice was done but at the same time we can wonder how many other cases like this are still open? (Polanski, Woody Allen etc..)

I am not a supermodel

The French singer Carla Luciani said in one interview « I am not a supermodel I am just a singer ».

The problem in this kind of entertainment job is that actors and singers have to present, act and dress someway.

Sure it’s often according to their own preferences but not all the time, sadly. Today’s generation and social media are improving this I think ( -> being who you are is good enough).

Nowadays more and more new artists decide to stick to their own style and be themselves which, in a sense also can be defined as « selling » because each individual can say if they feel like they are similar to the artist or not.

For example, the young artist Billie Ellish dresses more in large and dark clothes or Alessia Cara who do not really wear dresses or skirts or try to meet the definition of the usually common idea of « sexy » or « glamorous ». Both of these young artists basically just want to sing while staying themselves.

Nevertheless these artists still need to show up on interviews or put makeup on since they need to be « presentable » to talk about their music/art/films and sell them.

Many shy people also had to take classes such as prestance classes, working on the way they should to talk in public and behave in order not to get awkward on interviews (for example : the actress Kristen Steward is extremely introvert and hates when people put her on the spotlight but onces again, she needs to sell the film she played in, right?).

Also, many shy actors had to do bunch of things they hated (and it’s still the case) and it’s hard to change some kind of « usual tradition » (such as going to the Grammy awards, the Oscars, the Cesars, promote the work you have been involved to etc, for example..).

What the celebrity life brings alongside money

Drugs, abuse, suicide, alcoholism, overdose, rehab, public disputes, dramas… These things are common in Hollywood. Tell me something I don’t know.

Some artists had their childhood stolen and one day, as adults, they realized they didn’t know who they were anymore, what they liked or disliked and what they really wanted in life.

Some artists didn’t get the right and good psychological support to handle the fame and other things that might have gone wrong in their lives and decided to drawn their suffering throughout different substances.

Would Micheal Jackson, Judy Garland, Chester Bennigton (Linking Park), Robbin Williams, Health Ledger be still alive if they weren’t pushed by the industry, by their contracts, by they fears?

They must have felt so alone, so overwhelmed and the only way to handle the pressure was apparently for them to take drugs without paying any attention to the consequences or to commit suicide.

And that’s the problem. When your demons and your fears are so strong that you are convinced that nobody else can understand or help you anymore you only see one way out of this nightmare… And I am sure the music or the cinema industry (and the people belonging to them) are not an innocent part of these dramas which have happened and will stil happen.

Being the center of the universe (for some time)

When you get compliments all the time, when you spend days and hours and weeks talking only about you, when you see how people seem to like you and interact with you, when you basically feel like the center of the universe for some time it might be possible that you lose your humble and modest manners and start to feel like you are god.

That’s what happened to Justin Bieber for instance when he was young and because he didn’t had the right support and right people around him to tell him that the success got to his head and it was time to change some things he started to live this crazy life and at some point he obviously got lost.

The same thing happened to Lindsay Lohan and so many others. And I suppose when all your life (or a lot of years in your life) you are told you are amazing, you are perfect, you are thin and beautiful, you are doing a great job and the words « no » and « impossible » do not exists for you, the ego starts to grow and the wishes start to be very demanding and people often start to have less respect of the « external world or external people » (and maybe most of the part have simply less respect for themselves because they are completely lost and seem to be defined only by other people).

One single mistake and you’re out

Also, when you are famous you shouldn’t say stupid, awful and rude things. You shouldn’t talk about politics and say what you don’t like about this or that. You should most of the time talk with a smile, about positive things in order to make everybody around you very happy.

But sometimes some people do make mistakes (because they are human, like you and me) and they get their career completely ruined (it’s the case of Katerine Heigh for instance and the way she talked badly about a movie she played in).

Also, some stars were tore appart by media or other people who have a big visibility and get strongly and meanly criticized which would cost them also their career or the way people considered them.

When the French singer Christine and the Queens said she used a very basic dowloaded software program to make her music and some guy saw that she used some random beat for a famous song she wrote the internet (at least the French community!) started to insult her by saying she is a fake artist (while most of singers in the US do exactly the same thing – they use the same sounds all the time because they know it’s selling, but nobody is talking about that). Plus, the singer changed her style (cut her hair short and started to dress differently) and THIS was also the end of it. Many fans were disappointed and didn’t like her anymore.

The fact that artists (actors, singers) also are more open on social media, we can also see lately that some of them have admitted they were bisexual or homosexual and this also wasn’t seen really as something positive by the industry.

Do you remember what happened to Ellen Desgeneres when she came out in 1997 ? She lost everything. Nobody wanted her anymore. This also happens nowadays where many young people come out and then get less job opportunity by the industry…

Feeling fake ?

When Alicia Keys said that she didn’t want to wear makeup anymore I was very surprised and happy about it. At last a person who says no to that kind of things !

Most of the time (and this concerns mostly women but not only) : we demand of them to put A LOT of makeup, to always be presentable, not to gain weight, maybe to get a nose job even.. They are asked to put, for big occasions some dresses which do not really allow them to move normally (yep it’s still the case) and are not comfortable but as long as it makes they look beautiful and everybody is watching them, it really doesn’t matter, don’t you think?

The number of plastic surgery (men and women) is very very important. When you want to become an actor, the number one thing is (99% of the time) to be pretty looking. Then if you are talented… jackpot ! And that’s also another sad part of this industry (mostly in the US but not only of course).

Also, how many celebrities have also agreed to be part of prestigious brands in order to sell stuff to us? Chanel, Dior, Swarovski.. Many singers and actors play in commercial for these brands and manipulate people to buy them and this also for me is not great. Even if OF COURSE everybody is a grown-up and knows what he should or shouldn’t do and I am not saying buying these products is bad. I am just saying that that we don’t necessarily need a 200 euros ring because Karlie Kloss got the same in the add. It’s the same things with other less luxurious products such as « Coca Cola » and the Taylor Swift add : it sends the message to the children, but not only that if Taylor drinks this well it can be that bad, right?

The private life

Have you ever wondered how would you feel like if a bunch of people with cameras followed you everywhere? That you sometimes wouldn’t even feel secure and safe at home because you already found a crazy person in your bathroom who wanted an autograph? No? Hum well me either but I know I would hate it so much.

How it is possible that in 2020 a bunch of people are still bothering so meanly people who just want to go grocery shopping or go out with some family members? That’s also a problem. Some people just want to make a living (being an actor or a singer should be considered the same as being a policeman or a receptionist) and still they are treated like objects without any respect.

But what would not be done for money?

Also. I know that part of this problem is me. Let me explain : When I am bored I DO go watch pictures of my favorite artists online. I do get happy when I know this famous girl is dating this famous guy (yep I know that’s lame :D). So I am part of the problem, I am part of the demand for such information and that brings more paparazzis taking more pictures and stalking more people (or the same people they are already bothering). So if we stop doing this and we stop buying crappy lies via People magazines, if we stop watching youtube videos about these actors and their private life would this situation change by itself? What do you think?

Also. I am still wondering how some famous talkshow hosts dare put their guests in uncomfortable situations (in order to gain more views or make the audience laugh).

Men and women host play the same game and it’s very rare that the guest say something about it (like : please can you stop, this makes me feel uncomfortable and I don’t talk about my private life in interviews). People like Ellen Desgeneres and Opra Winfrey also do this and I hate it do much because it is disrespectful. Would you ask the president or another political figure how is their sex life going? I really don’t think so.

With twitter, Instagram etc celebrities can get also more personal and share more things about themselves in a more natural way as I wrote before. Nevertheless we can also observe that this allows others to comment and not only positively. When Selena Gomez gained weight some years ago and a picture of her was posted on the internet a lot of random people commented that it was gross, awful and she shouldn’t show herself like this. This shows what is happening in our world : the idea that, you can be famous or not famous at all (but especially if you are let’s be honest) you need to stay fit and beautiful all the time. If not we surely would have a lot of things to say about that. And this puts a lot of pressure for everybody, especially the younger generation. If you see that if this famous celebrity is being bullied online you surely would be too if something similar happened to you and a picture of you went viral.

Celebrities or non-celebrities have the RIGHT to wear or not wear whatever they feel like. It’s just normal. They don’t exist for other people but they exist for themselves. The importance of appearance is still so big nowadays and I think will be for the years to come sadly.

To conclude

So I really wanted to write something about this concept and give you my opinion on these things. I really would like that everybody gets the respect they need as simple human beings.

Celebrities are not different from us, they are normal like us and they need space and being left alone too.  I really think that some things would need to be adjusted or changed in this industry so it’s not just the money which is important but rather the individuals.

Thanks and take care, amigos,

Alice

J’ai regardé deux fois la série intitulée LIVING WITH YOURSELF sur Netflix et je voulais en parler car je l’ai trouvé géniale. Au début j’avais des réticences car je n’aime pas spécialement les films, séries, livres où on décrit les mêmes scènes mais vécues du point de vue de différents personnages néanmoins là c’était une très agréable surprise et j’ai apprécié l’ensemble de la série.  Il y a beaucoup de spoilers dans cet article donc si vous n’avez pas vu la série et que vous ne voulez pas savoir comment ça se fini etc regardez d’abord et venez lire ça plus tard si ça vous intéresse. 

Aujourd’hui j’aimerais écrire un texte sur le harcèlement que j’ai subi lorsque j’étais au collège. Je vous expliquerais en bas pourquoi j’ai décidé d’aborder ce sujet cher à mon cœur.

Quand je suis arrivée en 4ème tout allait plus ou moins bien. J’avais passé deux belles années en 6ème et en 5ème comparé au supplice de la dernière année d’école primaire donc j’étais assez contente.

Mais ça n’a point duré longtemps : une fille de grande taille et au visage glacial a commencé à s’en prendre à moi. Je ne sais pas quelle en a été la raison, peut-être que j’avais dit quelque chose qui ne lui a pas plu, je ne suis pas certaine de comment ça a commencé mais en tout cas ça a commencé et pas sympathiquement. Comme elle faisait flipper, je n’étais pas la seule a avoir un peu peur d’elle.

Insultes, moqueries, humiliations, elle demandait régulièrement aux garçons assis derrière moi en classe de donner des coups dans ma chaise pour m’emmerder.

Evidemment j’étais tellement mal que protester et leur gueuler dessus ne m’était pas possible. Encore moins suivre le cours d’anglais qui avait lieu. Alors je baissais la tête et les yeux et j’attendais que le cours se finisse en retenant mes larmes et ma peine. Je me demande encore aujourd’hui comment ce harcèlement n’ai jamais été remarqué par les professeurs ou les surveillants. Mes camarades de classe étaient souvent spectateurs de ce cirque cruel mais personne ne disait rien, personne ne faisait rien.

Je me souviens d’un jour, je crois que c’était en cours de maths où les élèves commençaient à s’installer à leur place respectives avant le début de la classe et elle m’a lancé un ‘’salope’’ au visage.

Comment expliquer à une fille de 12 ans qu’insulter une petite gamine blonde et triste de salope n’est disons pas seulement le qualificatif le plus adéquat mais que c’est d’une extrême violence. Parfois je me dis que les mots peuvent blesser plus que des coups.

Le jour du début de la fin de cette mésaventure qui a duré quelques temps et qui a grandement pourri mon quotidien a débuté normalement : se lever, manger les céréales le matin, mettre son sac sur le dos, marcher jusqu’au collège, entendre la sonnerie, aller en cours. Ce qui a été diffèrent des autres jours était le fait d’apprendre par un sous- fifre de la folle furieuse que j’allais me faire tabasser après l’école, vers 16h donc. Et c’est là que j’ai réalisé que je ne pouvais plus me taire face au problème. Que là, il y avait réel danger pour ma poire.

Et donc ce fut le difficile moment où j’ai dù en parler à un adulte. Je crois que j’avais appris mon planning de fin de journée en cours de physique et vu que c’était le dernier cours de la journée, si je sortais de la je risquais d’avoir mal. Donc j’en ai parlé à cette prof un peu blasée de la vie de ma situation, lui demandant d’appeler ma mère, qu’elle vienne me chercher au collège. La prof en question m’a dit quelque chose du style ‘’ mais pourquoi vous n’en avez pas parlé plus tôt, c’est grave’’ blablabli, en gros elle tombait des nues.

Je ne sais plus vraiment ce qui s’est passé ce jour-là mais en gros ma mère a appelé sa mère, y a eu un gros scandale de dingue si bien qu’au bout de quelques temps, l’harceleuse est venue dire ‘’Je suis désolée’’ et ma mère m’avait prévenu, avant que le jour fatidique des excuses n’arrive, de répondre clairement TOUT sauf ‘’c’est pas grave’’.

Et après tout ce bordel, étrangement, mes bourreaux ont été doux comme des agneaux avec moi et on m’a plus emmerdé et j’ai pu passer une année de 3ème sympa.

J’ai perdu beaucoup d’estime et de confiance en moi lors de cette période. Je pense que quand on est déjà un enfant un peu sensible, qui se sent diffèrent des autres et rarement à sa place ce genre d’expérience peut réellement faire des dégâts. Heureusement, ma vie aujourd’hui ne ressemble en rien à ma vie de fillette harcelée. Je me dis qu’a cause de ce qui s’est passé j’ai appris à bâtir des murs autour de moi et je ne laissais que quelques personnes passer par la porte pour entrer dans mon univers, ceux en qui je pouvais vraiment avoir confiance. J’ai aussi appris que j’étais plus forte que je ne l’aurais pensé.

Je n’ai pas parlé d’une personne essentielle lorsque ces choses me sont arrivées. Sans cette personne dans ma vie, à ce moment-là où j’étais en souffrance je ne sais pas ce que j’aurais fait, ce que je serais devenue. Il s’agit de Caroline. C’était ma meilleure amie du collège. Et même si on a pris des chemins différents après le collège,  je tiens à dire a quel point elle m’a donné force, espoir et confiance grâce à son amitié et à sa présence à mes côtés. Ma meilleure amie était là quand je me faisais insulter, pousser, rejeter, moquer. Elle continuait à rester avec moi, à vouloir me voir, à vouloir de moi quand personne d’autre ne voulait de moi et pour cela je lui en serait éternellement reconnaissante. Dios, j’ai même des larmes qui coulent en écrivant ce passage émouvant.

Ce que je voulais dire avec cet article en fait c’est que le harcèlement c’est pas quelque chose de nouveau, ça a existé bien avant moi, ça existe encore aujourd’hui (de façon amplifiée même, via les réseaux sociaux etc.).

Avec cet article je n’attends pas à ce qu’on ait pitié de moi ou qu’on dénonce l’injustice de ce que beaucoup de personnes, qu’ils soient enfants ou adultes finalement, peuvent vivre à cause de la méchanceté et cruauté des autres. Ce que je veux dénoncer en décrivant un épisode très intime de ma vie c’est combien il est ESSENTIEL de réagir lorsqu’on voit quelqu’un être victime d’harcèlement. JE CAUSE DE N’IMPORTE QUEL TYPE D’HARCELEMENT (sexuel, scolaire, physique, verbal, en ligne…). C’est tellement important. Parfois c’est difficile pour la victime d’en parler mais il est essentiel, pour sortir de ce cercle vicieux de se donner de la voix et surtout de l’importance. Dire ‘’ Je suis important et ce qui m’arrive n’est pas juste. Je ne mérite pas cela’’. Personne ne mérite cela. On a pas besoin d’humiliation pour grandir, pour évoluer, pour devenir la meilleure version de nous-même, pour s’aimer. Le harcèlement sert encore plus à nous rapetisser, à nous détester, à nous introduire une petite voix qui nous critique sans cesse ‘’T’es pas assez bien, tu ne le seras jamais ».

Souvent je me suis dit si je devenais prof ou si je faisais des interventions dans les écoles la première chose que j’aborderais serait ce sujet-là. Car c’est trop important. Je me suis déjà imaginée devant des élevés en leur disant ‘’ la première chose que vous devez savoir c’est qu’ici on se respecte. On est pas oblige de s’aimer mais on se tolère, on fait équipe ensemble. Nous avons nos différences, nos propres caractères et personnalités mais ça n’enlève en rien la caractère bienveillant que je veux instaurer ici. Considérez cette classe comme une seconde famille où on s’entraide et s’écoute ». Alors oui, pour certaines personnes se discours pourrait faire légèrement sourire mais si vous saviez comme, tout au fond de mes tripes j’ai besoin de voir cela dans ce monde. J’ai besoin d’environnements où on ne se sent pas continuellement jugés, comparés, critiqués pour la moindre ‘’erreur’’ ou la moindre « bizarrerie ». C’est tellement épuisant d’être mesquin. Soyons gentils les uns envers les autres. Regardons nous, acceptons nous PLEASE.

N’hésitez pas à partager vos propres histoires sur le harcèlent qu’il est été vécu par vous ou des personnes que vous connaissez et comment les victimes s’en sont sorties.

Je vous embrasse. Vous êtes importants.

Alice